pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
