As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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