If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
