I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
