Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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