dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i dont even know how to be here
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
