Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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