I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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