y did u give ur computer a hand job?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
