Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
