You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
