That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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