is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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