i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
