uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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