bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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