she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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