I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
