bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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