It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize