Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
