On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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