I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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