Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
