My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
