The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize