who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize