I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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