Grow some girl-balls and come out already
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
