In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
