let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
