thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
