i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
