i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
