Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize