You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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