**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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