I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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