ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I intend to get homeless drunk
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
