You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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