too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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