Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
