Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
