Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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