I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
