so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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