My Higher Power is John Stamos
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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