I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Randomize
