3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he fucked my hip out of place.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
