things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
