Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
