Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
