we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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