so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
