The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I believe in your delicious
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize