just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
