oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i now understand why vodka
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
