She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
