Pappa wants mamma naked
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
