Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
