Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize