I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
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I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
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is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.